Ladies, listen up. Did you know that you are one question away from having a horrible date? It’s true. In fact, any time you are out on the town with a new guy, you are one question away from ending that date right there and then. All you need to do is utter one of the following five questions and your dating experience will quickly turn south. Unless you want to go home alone, you should never ask him.
Do you have a job?
It seems innocent enough. You want to know if this dude has a good job and supports himself or if he lives in a one bedroom apartment with three roommates and one of them is selling weed. But ladies, please, don’t ask the man if he has a job. That sounds too accusatory like you’ve already sold him down the river as a loser. Instead, ask what he does and let him take the conversation from there.
Are you or have you ever been married?
Well of course you want to know the answer to this question but you shouldn’t just come out and say it. Marriage is a life-changing event. What’s even more life-changing is the breakup and/or divorce. Don’t drudge up memories of his nightmare ex or of the great time he had in Cabo on his honeymoon. Stick to subjects that are safe, like your surroundings and subjects you’ve discussed in emails prior to meeting and stay away from any talk of previous relationships. Period.
Do you have a car?
If the man didn’t pick you up and you haven’t seen his car and you’re an hour into the date, there’s a reason for that. This guy drives his mom’s old beat up Dotson and he doesn’t want to mess his game up with you. Just leave it alone. A guy will quickly let you know what he drives if he’s proud of his ride. If you want to know if he has a car, ask him to pick you up for the first date. Or, insist that you meet in a public parking lot. If he gets dropped off in an expensive car driven by a friend, you can probably bet that he walks/bikes everywhere he goes.
How much money do you make?
Most people will never just come out and ask this, but it deserves to be brought up. Some women will ask guys how much money they make by asking if they can afford expensive items on the menu or certain jewelry items in the display cases they happen to pass by. Even though you may have your tests that you put new guys through, make sure you stay away from any talk of money. Unless you’re looking for a sugar momma/daddy. Then, it is perfectly acceptable for that to be the first thing said following the first-date introductions.
Why are you single?
Just like the marriage question, you will want to refrain from anything that might make the guy feel bad. Being single is hard on most dudes. They don’t get the regular sex they want, most can’t clean up after themselves and they don’t have anyone to share their feelings with. And yet it’s hard for many men to find a woman who will want to be with him long-term or even for a night. Instead of asking if he’s single, ask how his dating experience has been. If you’ve met through a dating site, ask him how that experience has been. Familiar subjects are always great conversation starters and soon you’ll find yourself discussing deeper, more meaningful things that can lead to a great date.
Or, you could ask one of the above and ruin it forever. Just keep these in mind and be mindful of the guy’s feelings when you’re drilling him about how much he makes, what he drives and whether or not he’s got three ex-wives and six kids. With good questions, your date will go perfectly as planned and you’ll have much better luck finding the one.