BDD: What is the most common trouble with which people come to you?
Most of my clients come to me because they are having a hard time finding a good match. They feel frustrated with dating or sometimes are too nervous to even get started. And many fear they will never find the love they want.
BDD: How can I tell if I need a coach?
I tell singles that if they have been looking for love for more than 18 months will little or no success, it’s time to get serious and seek the advice of someone who really knows how to make the most of the dating scene. Other signs include not having a date in 18 months, not getting many second or third dates, and feeling angry or frustrated with the opposite sex.
BDD: What’s the most valuable piece of advice you can give that applies to all?
Take the pressure off! When you can relax, be your best self, and just be happy to meet new people, the world can open up for you. That attitude is magically attractive. If you judge each prospect like he or she could be the “one”, you‘ll put too much pressure on the meeting and take all the fun out of it too.
BDD: How soon can we see results of coaching?
Timing varies with effort made and a bit of serendipity – you have to do your part and the stars have to be aligned for all the pieces to fall into place. But I encourage my clients to be on their toes to take advantage of all opportunities.
BDD: What is the number one mistake that you see people make?
For women, it’s not allowing the man to pursue them. Women can muddy the waters and ruin their chances when they jump in to get the ball rolling faster. Don’t do anything! Let the men pursue and then your job is to say yes, go, enjoy and show your appreciation. That’s it.
For the men, it’s not being a leader and taking over the pursuit. If you are hanging back waiting for the woman to ask you out, set up the date, think up what to do and pay, you are looking at a long lonely life. Do not abdicate your leadership role in dating! Take a stand, take a chance and get that phone number! It’s truly the only way to go.
BDD: What is the number one goal your clients usually have?
The number one goal my clients have is to find the right partner as quickly as possible.
BDD: What’s your take on online dating?
I am a big believer in online dating. You can meet people who you would never come across any other way. People have met and fallen in love with someone who lives across the street from them in big NY apartment buildings or around the corner in the suburbs. It’s a fabulous way to find singles. Not all will be a good match – so what! That’s true for any way you go about meeting people. It’s the cheapest, fastest way to jumpstart your love life.
Of course there are tricks to make the most of your efforts and working with a professional dating coach can make a big difference there.
BDD: Why would someone choose you vs. another coach?
Great question! I am a certified, trained coach who has personally experienced midlife dating and accomplished the goal of seeking and finding lasting love. I’ve been happily married since May 2000 and the process I share with singles is the same one I used to meet and marry my husband. In addition, I am the author of MANifesting Mr. Right, have contributed chapters for several other books, and have been sought out by the media as an expert. At this point, I have helped thousands to transform their love lives to find the love they want and deserve.
BDD: Can you give us an example of a success story?
I have lots of them! One client, at 27 felt she was already too old and had missed her prime opportunities. So not true! Luisa just needed to loosen up, relax and believe there were still plenty of great guys out there to date. She worked on her flirting skills and ended up meeting a wonderful guy – last I heard they were making wedding plans.
Here’s one of my favorites. Patty was a very conservative dresser, never showing much skin. She was going to a singles dance and went shopping with a friend to buy a new dress. She tried a gorgeous dress on with spaghetti straps with and a fluted hem that ruffled out when she spun around. She didn’t want to get it – but her friend insisted. The night of the dance she felt so uncomfortable in that dress. But, a funny thing happened, the minute she walked in a man told her she looked beautiful and that started her night off with a bang. Her confidence went through the roof, she danced all night and let the flirty woman inside her out. Within a couple of months, Patty had met the man of her dreams.
BDD: Would you ever turn anyone down? Why? Why not?
Yes I have turned people away. Coaching won’t work for everyone because you have to be open and willing to hear new ideas, and try new things. If you are very stuck and know exactly what you want with absolutely no wiggle room, there’s probably not much I can do to help. Flexibility and an open mind can take you where you want to go – so you need to be willing to accept the coaching in order for it to work.
BDD: Ronnie, thank you for you time!
Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC, The Dating Coach, is a professional speaker, workshop leader and author of MANifesting Mr. Right who has worked with thousands of single women to successfully accelerate their search for love. Ms. Ryan has appeared at Long Wharf Theatre and has been featured on BBC 5Live Radio, FOX and ABC News, Sally Jesse Raphael Radio, NPR, WYBC with Lisa Wexler, WPLR, WELI, Star99, MSN.com, and MORE.com, plus a variety of other print, broadcast and web articles in the US, UK and Australia.